Monday, May 11, 2009

Mark Twain on Spelling

This doesn't really have anything to do with China, but since I'm still reeling from all those writing assignments I've been grading, a funny look at the English language was a nice diversion. I came across this tongue-in-cheek idea from Mark Twain while looking online for some ideas for my writing class. I've always liked Mark Twain quotes--he was amazingly humorous and witty. Spelling was always my worst subject, and still today I freely admit I'm a bad speller (spell check only making my problem worse). If his idea had been put into practice, maybe I'd be a better speller today.

A Plan for the Improvement of English Spelling
by Mark Twain

For example, in Year 1 that useless letter "c" would be dropped to be replased either by "k" or "s", and likewise "x" would no longer be part of the alphabet. The only kase in which "c" would be retained would be the "ch" formation, which will be dealt with later. Year 2 might reform "w" spelling, so that "which" and "one" would take the same konsonant, wile Year 3 might well abolish "y" replasing it with "i" and Iear 4 might fiks the "g/j" anomali wonse and for all. Jenerally, then, the improvement would kontinue iear bai iear with Iear 5 doing awai with useless double konsonants, and Iears 6-12 or so modifaiing vowlz and the rimeining voist and unvoist konsonants. Bai Iear 15 or sou, it wud fainali bi posibl tu meik ius ov thi ridandant letez "c", "y" and "x" -- bai now jast a memori in the maindz ov ould doderez -- tu riplais "ch", "sh", and "th" rispektivli. Fainali, xen, aafte sam 20 iers ov orxogrefkl riform, wi wud hev a lojikl, kohirnt speling in ius xrewawt xe Ingliy-spiking werld.

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